Everybody's Free

Innimellom er dagene tunge. Håret er teit, nesa skinner om kapp med Rudolfs, og i skapet finnes det ikke en tråd. Alt er gørr, og speilet er den verste fiende. På slike dager finnes det få ting som hjelper, og jo mer du tenker på hvor irritert du er, og hvor forferdelig verden er (for den er jo selvsagt mot deg), jo mer irritert blir du og jo verre blir verden. Selv om du trodde den ikke kunne bli verre. Høres det kjent ut, kanskje?

For slike dager finnes ingen medisin. Sjokolade kanskje, men så fort "medisinen" er fortært fylles du bare av dårlig samvittighet og den indre stemmen øker desibelnivået betraktelig når den forteller deg hvor uformelig og tjukk du er. I stedet for brannslukking på slike dager, har jeg i stedet funnet et forebyggende middel som hjelper på selvfølelsen når jeg merker at eventuelle dustedager er i anmarsj. Middelet hjelper meg til å sette ting litt i perspektiv, og humøret blir raskt bedre etter å ha inntatt det. Lurer du på hva jeg snakker om? Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)! "Landeplagen" fra 1999. Husker du?

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99

If I could offer you only one tip for the future,

sunscreen would be it.

The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by

scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable

than my own meandering experience…

I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not

understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.

But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and

recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before

you and how fabulous you really looked….

You’re not as fat as you

imagine.

Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as

effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing

bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that

never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm

on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you

Sing

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts,

don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss

Don’t waste your time on jealousy;

sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…

the race is long, and in the end,

it’s only with

yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults;

if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your

life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they

wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year

olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t,

maybe you’ll have children,maybe you won’t,

maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky

chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…

what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much

or berate yourself either –

your choices are half chance,

so are everybody else’s.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…

don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it,

it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on.

Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders. Don’t expect anyone else to support you.

Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse;

but you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen…